I said, “No you’re not, go to sleep C.”

This morning when they got up, I realized they had switched shirts last night as part of their attempted deception. They cackled happily when I said “Did you guys switch shirts?” and were rather impressed that I hadn’t been fooled. “How did you know I was C?” he asked. I told him Mommy can always tell them apart. “You can’t fool me. But don’t do that to your teachers.”

"The Gronckle Book"

Page 1

Page 2

And here is the text:

Fishlegs was having fun with the Gronckle on Dragon Island. The Gronckle was not having fun. He wanted to bonk Fishlegs in the head.

So he flew and flew and flew, and knocked Fishlegs’ helmet off. And then he bonked him in the head.

The End.

(Fishlegs is one of the Viking teens in HTTYD.) We have seen this movie three times now, and it hasn’t even come to DVD yet, and they have several of the books and all the McDonald’s dragons (thanks to my mother, I didn’t even have to buy two dozen HappyMeals to get them: she found a McD’s that had all the dragons, bought up the 8 or so the boys were missing – times two, of course, one of each for each of them – and mailed them to us. The boys were ecstatic, and the dragons remain their favorite and most-played-with toys), so it isn’t surprising he should be writing about them.

I’m very proud of him, of course, and That Man and I are pretty delighted parents that Twin B wrote this little story. He’s very creative. The illustrations show he clearly had this story in mind when he was drawing it – he was very definite about the order the pages went in before I stapled them together into a “book”, and – in typical writer fashion – he had a few pages that didn’t make the cut. At first I thought he was just drawing a half dozen pictures of Gronckles, but there really is a story there. You can see Fishlegs has his horned Viking helmet on in the first scene, and his hair is showing in the second as the Gronckle knocks him in the head with its stubby tail.

While at the Wright Bros, I attempted to instill a sense of the grandeur of history in my evil twins. I explained about Wilbur and Orville Wright and the first flights, and added “It was over a hundred years ago!” Twin A immediately piped up, “Dinosaurs lived 65 million years ago!” If this were Twitter, I think the appropriate hashtag would be #justgottold

A few pics I snapped on my phone. I would share the ones I took with the spiffy camera, but sadly, my Internet is still not working. I will try to remember to add them later.

C: “I have a riddle for you, D. It’s something that is square-rectangle and puffy and white all over and is for little kids. What is it?”

D: “Is it a pepper?”

C, laughing: “No!”

D: “Is it a carrot?”

C: “No.”

D: “Is it a little carrot?”

C: “No.”

D: “Is it a yellow pepper?”

C: “No.”

D: “Is it a strawberry marshmallow?”

C: “You almost got the correct answer, but you got to say it with nothing else.”

D: “Is it a marshmallow?”

C: “Yes!”

(both laugh uproariously)

This morning they played Candyland (stacking the deck) with two of their dragons, and D told me, “We playing for the Gronckle and the Zippleback,” and C added, “Because they not real.”

We went to the beach today, and they had a grand old time for a while, but then it started clouding over and C started getting worried. He kept watching the clouds and saying, “Those clouds coming in awfully fast, Mama.” About ten minutes later (when the Starburst ran out) he decided we needed to leave. “It going to rain. Look at those clouds! Let’s go, Mama. We better go.”

Tonight is the final episode of Lost. First they asked if they could stay up and watch it, because they love the smoke monster. I told them no, they had to go to bed at 7. When bedtime rolled around, I reminded them it was the last episode, so they climbed into bed and D said, “You better go, Mama, so you don’t miss anything,” and C added, “Good night, we love you!”

C: I left it in the car.

*

Me: (during a lecture on behavior) Do you have manners?

C: Not a lot of them.

*

Me: What happened to all the brownies?

D: Um, I had to feed them to the super-Carnotaurus.

C: Raaaar.

*

C spent about half an hour tonight cutting up construction paper into small pieces, and informed me he was going to leave them under his pillow so the Tooth Fairy would think they were teeth and leave him “lots and lots of quarters”. D was gung-ho for this plan, although he did try to convince C that he needed to cut in tooth-shaped pieces instead of the efficient squares and rectangles he was making, but C was unconcerned. Apparently he doesn’t think much of the Tooth Fairy’s powers of observation.

Totally looks like teeth, right? Right?

I told my mom about this scheme, and she said, laughing, “They have larceny in their hearts!”

*

They also spent most of the afternoon with one of them on the top bunk in their bedroom and the other on the floor, trying to make a “Shamu rocket ship” (a toy orca in a cup) fly to Pluto (one of the remaining planets in the solar system that hangs from their ceiling. Neptune died a sad death a few months ago, and Mercury is pretty banged up). D was very exasperated that the rocket ship didn’t make it past Saturn and kept bouncing off the closet door.

At first the interruptions were just for them to self-righteously point out all of Goldilocks’ misbehavior. Then it was to do the voices of the bears, who are their favorite characters in the story. Now they want to tell parts of the story themselves. Tonight they proposed that there should be a sequel: The Three Bears Break Into Goldilocks’ House And Break Her Stuff. I told them we’d work on that one tomorrow.

Goldilocks usually goes something like this.

Me: “What story do you want tonight?”

D: “Goldilocks and the Three Bears!”

Me: “Let me hide my surprise. Okay-”

C: “I can do the ‘once upon a time’ part. Once upon a time there were three bears: a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They lived in a house in the woods. And their porridge was too hot so they went for a walk. *deep voice* My porridge is too hot! *high-pitched voice* My porridge is-”

D, exasperated: “You forgot the Goldilocks breaking into their house part.”

Me: “Do you guys want me to tell the story?”

C: “Okay, Mama.”

Me: “So there were three bears, like C said. And they went for a walk in the woods. While they were out, a little girl named Goldilocks came along and she decided to go inside their house-”

D: “Without asking permission.”

Me: “Yes, without asking permission, and she saw their porridge on the table. First she tried the papa bear’s porridge, but it was too hot. Then she tried the mama bear’s porridge, but it was too cold. Then she tried the baby bear’s porridge, and it was just right, so she ate it all up.”

C: “That was not good to do.”

Me: “No, it wasn’t. Then she went to their living room-”

D: “And her sat in all their chairs. The papa bear’s was too hard, and the mama bear’s was too soft, and the baby bear’s was just right. But she broke it!”

C: “That not very nice.”

D: *nods very smugly, as if his own conduct is always impeccable*

Me: “So Goldilocks went upstairs to take a nap. The papa bear’s bed was too hard. The mama bear’s bed was too soft. But the baby bear’s bed was just right, so she fell asleep.”

D, cackling with evil glee: “And then the bears came home!”

Me: “And they looked at their porridge and the papa bear said-”

C, in a deep growl: “Someone been eating my porridge!”

Me: “And the mama bear said, Someone’s been eating my porridge! And the baby bear said-”

C, in a high-pitched baby voice: “Someone been eating my porridge, and they ate it all up!”

Me: “So the bears went into their living room, and the papa bear said, Someone’s been sitting in my chair, and the mama bear said, Someone’s been sitting in my chair, and the baby bear said-”

C, in the baby voice: “Someone been sitting in my chair, and them BROKE IT!”

D, now getting very excited for Goldilocks to get busted: “And then they WENT UPSTAIRS!”

C, talking so fast he’s almost unintelligible, in the bear voices: “Someone’s been sleeping in our beds, and that one was too soft, and the baby bear-”

Me: “Yes. Then the bears went upstairs. And the papa bear said, Someone’s been sleeping in my bed. And the mama bear said, Someone’s been sleeping in my bed. And the baby bear said-”

D, in an even higher-pitched voice than C can manage: “Someone’s been sleeping in my bed, and there her is!”

Me: “And Goldilocks woke up, and she screamed-”

C: “I can do that. Her went, Aaaaaahhhh!”

D: *falls over laughing*

C: “Then her ran out the door-”

D: “No, she jumped out the window.”

Me: “Then she ran far far away and never bothered the bears again.”

C: “Without asking permission.”

Me: “That’s right.”

I can only imagine what will happen in the sequel. Probably Goldilocks won’t survive it.